Swords of Eternity
by ZuttoAragi
Summary: Kazuto Kirigaya. A gamer that never tried to mix his online and personal life. After a single slip-up, he ends up getting both meshed together in a crazy way.


**Chapter I**

 **Howdy! I have come with a brand new story, completely new, no remakes! Yes, it is a Sword Art Online crossover story, so nothing massively new for me, but it will be organizing things in a way I have not done yet. The main character is, as ever, Kazuto. It is a harem, because of course. As for the crossovers themselves, well I cannot reveal them all, but the big ones are Netoge no Yome, Majikoi: Oh Samurai Girls, and a few others that will become apparent later. So, without further adieu, off we go!**

* * *

Two people, within a seemingly virtual space, stood on the end of a long dock sitting on a large lake.

The first, a young man with short, messy black hair and a plain blue outfit, with a sword and shield on his back, blinked in bewilderment. "… Huh? What did you say… Ako?"

The girl, Ako, a girl with long, wavy black hair, dark blue eyes, and an impressive bust wearing a simple white and pink dress resembling a maid's, nodded firmly. "I – I asked… will you marry me, Kirito?"

Kirito stood in silent disbelief. "Wh – Why…?"

"Because, it can only be you, Kirito!"

After a long pause, he sighed with a defeated smile. "U – Um… sure."

Her eyes got bright and wide before she tackled him with a heavy hug. "Yay! Finally, you said yes!"

He remained silent for a moment before chuckling weakly and patting her on the head. ' _… Well… guess I'm married…_ '

* * *

"Kazu! Wake up!"

In a small, fairly standard bedroom outside the virtual space, the same young man, his hair shorter and not as wild, laid on a bed with a full helmet on his head, sighing as it deactivated and he sat up with a stretch, a small smile on his face. He quickly turned to the side and saw a young woman with short, even cut black hair standing next to him, her bulging cleavage heaving with her annoyed breaths.

"You finally woke up…"

"Huh…? Suguha?" he wondered in confusion.

"Yes, Kazuto!"

Kazuto lurched back in surprise at her shout.

"Mom made dinner for everyone, so come downstairs."

"R – Right…" he sputtered as she left. After a moment of thought, he looked at the helmet he was wearing moments ago. "Well that was a good day."

* * *

As Kazuto walked into the building's dining room, several faces turned towards him, causing him to flinch slightly.

Suguha, however, noticed the small smile on his face and frowned in confusion. "Big Brother? What's going on?"

He looked at her, not understanding. "What do you mean?"

"You're… smiling. It's kinda creepy."

His eyebrows twitched at her words. "… Why is me smiling a bad thing?"

"Well you're usually so… glum."

"… You make me sound emo. Which I am not."

"You do have a habit of looking pissed all the time," a woman with short, messy silver hair and dark grey eyes commented wryly as he sat down.

"That's rich coming from you, Mom."

"He does have a point, Aunt Takami," a girl with long brown hair tied in a ponytail sniggered.

Takami looked at her with an overly sweet smile. "Perhaps I should get the whistle out again, Kazuko."

She instantly knelt down and covered her ears. "Anything but that!"

"You really are like a dog, Wanko," a girl with messy lavender hair and violet eyes remarked with a smirk.

"Hey! Zip it, Miyako!"

"Make me, Wanko!"

"Ka-zu-ko! Not Wanko!"

"Says the girl who's indistinguishable from a dog!"

"Enough!" a young woman with an extreme bust, waist-length black hair, and deep red eyes growled, rubbing her head in discomfort. "I do not have the patience for your arguing."

"What's up, Momoyo?" Kazuto asked in concern?"

"Your devil of a mother kept me up all night with that stupid studying," Momoyo growled.

A girl next to Suguha with similarly styled black hair and dark grey eyes, though a more modest endowment, snickered lightly. "Well if you keep it up being a muscle head you'll get held back."

Momoyo shot the girl an angry glare, making her shrink behind Kazuto in fear.

Kazuto sighed heavily before his eyes snapped open and he leaned to the side, Miyako diving at him but missing, slamming headfirst into the table. "Come 'ere!" Miyako urged as she stood up, Suguha suddenly standing with a frying pan, Miyako hitting it face first before collapsing to the floor.

"Stupid pervert," Suguha huffed as Miyako splayed on the floor.

Kazuto watched in disbelief. "Was the pan needed?"

"Yes."

"Right…"

Miyako growled as she sat back down at the table. "Ggrr… I'll get him next time…"

Momoyo then interjected, "So, Kazu, mind sharing what's got you so happy?"

Kazuto simply laughed weakly. "Just a good day in Yggdrasil."

Suguha sighed heavily as she sat down. "Of course it's that game again. You know, you're starting to slip in your kendo practice."

Kazuto turned to her with a lecturing face and raised two fingers. "Two words. Muscle. Memory."

"That's what you _always_ say!" she bit.

Kazuto crossed his arms with a proud smirk. "Well with how Yggdrasil works the better I get there, the better I'll be in kendo training. Hell, if Momoyo played she might actually get a challenge."

That peaked the red-eyed girl's interest. "Oh? Sounds entertaining."

"It is. You should try it some time."

Miyako ardently raised a hand. "Then I will too!"

"The hell you will!" Suguha argued.

"Wanna bet!?"

Takami felt a vessel in her head snap as she shouted, "Break it up! You all have school tomorrow so quit bickering and eat your dinner!"

Kazuto winced and then groaned angrily. "Right…"

"Well you have to decide what's more important," Takami urged, causing Kazuto to begin thinking deeply.

Suguha twitched an eyebrow before whacking him with a kendo stick.

"Ow!"

Kazuko stood up, livid. "Hey! Stop hittin' Kazu!" she shouted, lunging at Suguha, practically barking.

Suguha lurched back and then threw her kendo stick away, Kazuko changing her focus and diving at it instead.

Kazuto simply sighed in heavy exasperation.

* * *

The next day as Kazuto walked to school with the others, Kazuko gave him some advice. "You know, you should stop making your mom so mad."

Kazuto simply sighed in defeat. "I think mad is her default setting."

"Only because you keep making her worry," Suguha added.

"Well she doesn't need to."

"Yes she does," Suguha and Yukari answered in unison.

"Hey, come on, is it pick on Kazuto day or something?"

Momoyo smirked playfully and grabbed Kazuto, burying his head in her chest. "Isn't it always?"

Kazuto tensed as his fingers twitched. ' _Must… not… grab…_ '

Miyako twitched an eyebrow jealously. "Hey! Get off him tits-for-brains!"

Momoyo shot her an irritated frown. "What was that, Miyako? You wanna fight?"

The girl swiftly turned away whistling.

Yukari sniggered in amusement, prompting Suguha to raise an eyebrow. "What's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing… just fun watching Kazu and his harem."

Kazuto flinched as Momoyo released him and hastily argued. "H – Hey! It's not…!"

"Oh? I guess Ako's more your type then?"

Kazuto went cold before grabbing Yukari and pulling her to the side away from the others. "Where did you hear about that…?"

Yukari pulled out her phone and showed him a blog labeled "Argo's Daily Adventures".

Kazuto's jaw dropped in horror. "That damn Rat…! Why'd he have to go and make a blog…!? Next time I see him I'm strangling him with his own money bag…!"

"Oy!" Momoyo hollered at the two. "You're gonna be late!"

"I'm coming!" he answered back.

"You will one day," Miyako shot back with a smirk.

"Huh?"

"Oh nothing," she answered playfully.

He frowned in confusion before turning to Yukari. "Don't tell the others about this."

"Right, right," she replied with a mischievous smirk.

* * *

Kazuto groaned as he sat in his classroom, looking around at the other students crowding around. ' _There's too many people in this classroom… Why do I have to come here again…?_ ' He was brought out of his thoughts when a girl with short silver hair and a cross-shaped mark on her forehead called out to him. "Huh? Ageha? What's up?"

"You look down. Is something wrong?" she asked with a seemingly flat expression.

Kazuto stiffened and then laughed weakly. "Ah… School. Just wish I was home."

"Oh…"

"I'm pretty sure that's universal for most people," a girl with pink hair and blue eyes commented with a smile as she walked up to the two, garnering a scowl from Ageha. "It's school after all."

"I know, Yume…" Kazuto answered with a heavy sigh.

Ageha suddenly turned back to him in realization. "Oh. Kazuto, I have something for you."

"Huh? Really? What is it?"

"Just hold onto it until you get home," she urged, handing him a small pink and white box. "When you arrive, open it. Everything will be clear then."

"Um… sure…"

Yume was about to protest when the school's bell rang loudly, a voice on the intercom announcing, "All students, assemble in the auditorium. Repeat, all students, assemble in the auditorium."

* * *

Kazuto and the rest of his class arrived in the auditorium, seeing the huge room packed to the brim with people. Kazuto shivered at the sight. "… That's a lot of people… Wonder why we're here… some big fight or something…?"

After all the students sat down, Kazuto noticed someone approach the room's podium, a young woman with long, flowing, dark azure hair, bright amber eyes, and a bust her top barely contained.

Kazuto looked at the young beauty in mild bewilderment. "Does she go here?"

Ageha nodded and explained in her usual monotone, "Yes. She is Kyoh Goshoin, the student council president."

"Oh…"

"She's also the one who allowed for some students not to participate in the Kawakami Wars."

"I see. Didn't know that was an option."

Yume interjected, "That's probably because most people don't use it on account of doing so causing shame."

Kyoh coughed softly into her hand to garner the room's attention as she began. "Ahem. I'd like to thank all of you for coming here on such short notice. As you know –"

No sooner had she begun speaking had Kazuto tuned her out and turned his attention to his game. ' _Wonder what I should do today…? Maybe that new quest? I know I'm going to hang Argo by his purse strings though. Plus… I'm still not sure how to handle Ako… crap… what will Schwein and Apricot think…? I can just imagine the Pig laughing his ass off. Oh, this is gonna suck so hard! And I am going to strangle that damn rat!_ '

Nearby, a girl with blonde hair tied up like a bow on top of her head sneezed harshly. "Huh… That's odd."

"You okay, Mozuki?" one of the other students asked.

"Yep, just fine," the blonde answered with a smirk.

"That is all," Kyoh announced as she finished her speech, rousing Kazuto from his thoughts.

"Huh?" Kazuto murmured.

"You zoned out during her speech," Kazuko remarked. "I figured it was pointless to try and wake you."

"Like it is when you get a bone to chew on?"

Kazuto swore dog ears popped up on her head when he said that. "Bone?!" she exclaimed, causing him to laugh lightly in amusement. "Where's a bone?!"

Miyako snickered wryly. "There goes Wanko."

Kazuko turned to the purple-haired girl with a snarl.

Kyoh, seemingly unaware of the conflict, announced, "You may all return to your classes."

Kazuto sighed as he stood up, trying to ignore the growling girls.

* * *

As he sat back down in his chair, he noticed a girl with light brown hair tied in pigtails, as well as a noticeably slim figure, walk in. "Oh, morning Segaw –" he began before she growled at him.

Kazuko huffed with insult. "Well… that was unnecessary…"

A girl with long pink hair and matching eyes bowed with an apologetic smile. "S – Sorry about that, Kirigaya. Akane's been a little –"

Akane interrupted her, "You don't need to explain anything to that Otaku, Nanako."

Kazuto frowned in response. "Gamer."

"How is there a difference?"

A woman with long brown hair tied in front ponytail with violet eyes, frameless glasses over them, wearing a simple grey suit, laughed weakly as she entered the class. "O – Okay class… settle down."

Kazuto sighed in response. "Well I guess at least Ms. Saito knows how to deal with them…"

* * *

Later in the day, Kazuto made his way towards the cafeteria, Miyako sneaking behind him, unaware he knew she was there. As she leapt forward at him, he quickly sidestepped her, causing her to slam face first into the floor. "Nice try." However, as he walked forward looking at her he unwittingly bumped into someone.

"H – Huh?" The girl he bumped into, with long black hair and curvaceous figure, flinched as she looked at him before sprinting around him.

"Oh, um, sorry…?"

"How rude," Miyako grumbled as she stood up.

Turning his attention from the raven-haired girl to Miyako, he rebutted, "You were going to jump me."

"I was going to give you my love! There's a huge difference!"

"Not really when it's concerning you," he deadpanned.

Miyako huffed lightly before the two heard a commotion nearby.

Yume spoke with two other girls when one, a girl with short brown-grey hair and blue eyes, exclaimed, "Seriously!? Your family hired _another_ maid?!"

Yume laughed weakly in response. "H – Hey, don't make it sound so crazy, Keiko…"

"But that makes how many now?!" the other girl, with long, wavy green hair and glasses over her amber eyes.

Yume shrunk back sheepishly. "… T – Twelve… B – But this one wasn't Yume's idea, Anastasia, it was Shinra's!"

Keiko chuckled and retorted, "So what's this one like?"

Yume blinked in thought. "O – Oh. She originally ran away from home with her little brother but lost track of him a long time ago."

"I see…"

"Sounds weird," Anastasia remarked.

Miyako frowned before turning to Kazuto. "Whaddya think that's about? Kazu? Yoohoo, Earth to Kazu."

Kazuto flinched before looking at her. "H – Huh?"

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I just remembered something I need to do."

"Okay…?"

Kazuto quite swiftly walked away before he was stopped by a girl with long blonde hair tied in a ponytail.

"Ah, Kirigaya!" she called out.

Kazuto turned to her in slight surprise before nodding. "Erika?"

She nodded with a smile. "Yep."

"How come I didn't see you at the assembly?"

Erika stiffened before laughing unconvincingly. "Oh… I was behind the stage with the rest of the student council. So what'd you think of president Goshoin's speech?"

Kazuto is the one who tensed before laughing. "… Uuhh…"

"Fufu, you didn't even hear it, did you?"

"Not really, no…"

"Figures. Well I guess it's not important, it was just your standard commencement speech."

"I see…"

"Now, how about –?" she began to ask before a girl with short blue hair and amber eyes interrupted sharply.

"Kiriya!"

Kazuto stiffened in shock at the girl's approach. "Huh? … What's one of the Big Four doing here…?"

The blonde groaned heavily. "Urgh… Otome Kurogane… she's the head of the student council's disciplinary committee…"

"Ah… and she's here because…?"

Otome unwittingly answered his question when she growled at Erika. "Kiriya, eat your lunch, don't chatter."

Kazuto merely watched in disbelief as the two argued.

"It's _my_ lunchbreak, I'll do as I please!"

"You say that now, but if you don't eat, then come meeting time you'll be begging me for food."

Erika's face instantly turned red as she glanced at Kazuto in worry before glaring at Otome. "I – I will not!"

"You do it all the time."

"I – I do not! Kirigaya! Don't listen to that brute!"

Kazuto gulped in worry as he backed away from the two. "Uuhh… I'm just gonna go…" before sprinting off.

"Wait! Don't go...! Ggrr... why do you always do that, Kurogane!?"

The blue-haired girl tilted her head in confusion. "Do what?"

"You _always_ ruin things!"

"I see. Well as a member of the student council, relationships aren't something you should concern yourself with."

Erika twitched an eyebrow in annoyance. "Then maybe we should stop being friends if that's what you think!" she exclaimed, gaining a narrow glare, causing her to wince. "I – It was just a reaction!"

* * *

Kazuto sighed as he slumped against a wall. "Geez… why is everyone so crazy today…?"

"Kirigaya?" a voice asked.

Kazuto stiffened before turning to see a girl with long, silky black hair, and violet eyes, standing nearby. "Oh, Nagomi. What's up?"

"You seem stressed."

"Well, everyone's acting crazy."

Nagomi held up her cellphone, showing the same social media post of Argo's once more.

Kazuto paled in horror. "Does _everybody_ know about this!?"

"Yes. Is this a problem?"

"VERY!"

"Very well. Then I will find this Argo," she stated coldly before drawing a sword.

"Good luck. I don't even know who he is."

Nagomi remained still for several moments.

"What?"

"… N – Nothing…"

"Okay…?"

After a moment of quiet, she walked away briskly.

"… This day is so damn weird… Hope it stops…"

* * *

As Kazuto flopped onto his bed after the day ended, he sighed heavily. "Geez… what a day…" He then sat up when he remembered the present he had received from Ageha and pulled it out of his pocket. "Well… best open it now. Though… how?" He looked over the box before finding a small gray square that resembled a fingerprint scanner. He frowned in thought before putting his thumb on it, a voice resonating from within.

"Accept. Activating." The box suddenly burst from his hand and began unfolding and changing shape.

He stood up in shock as the tiny box turned into a tall young woman with long, dark purple hair tied into twintails clad in a skintight, black and white bodysuit that showed off her curvaceous form, with white mechanical pieces on her head and floating at her waist.

"What the…?"

The girl looked over him in thought for a moment. "I am Cookie. You are Kazuto Kirigaya?"

Kazuto nodded slowly in complete confusion.

Cookie then bowed deeply. "I am Cookie, a fully functional android made for your assistance, Master."

"Right… wait, WHAT!?"

"Is something wrong, Master?"

"I'm just… very confused."

Miyako suddenly burst into the room. "Kazuto! What's wrong!? And who is she?!"

"I am Cookie," the purple-haired girl answered plainly.

"Eh?" Miyako mumbled.

Kazuto interjected, "Okay, you said that already, but… why? Just why…?"

Cookie looked at him with mild confusion. "What do you mean, Master?"

He just sighed in exasperation. "… Nevermind."

Miyako blinked before realizing what was happening. "Wait… is SHE that thing Kuki gave you?!"

"I am Cookie."

"I said Kuki, not Cookie!"

Kazuto gulped in worry. "… Maybe."

Miyako growled angrily. "Ggrr… damn her! Trying to win you over with a damn sexbot!"

"Eh?"

Cookie tilted her head curiously. "Sexbot? That is not what I am?"

"Oh yeah!? Then what are you!?" Miyako challenged.

"What's all the shouting about?" Takami asked angrily as she walked over to the teen's room.

"Ah crap…" Kazuto mumbled in fear.

Takami walked in and saw Cookie. "… What. The hell. Is that?"

Cookie calmly replied, "My name is Cookie. An all-purpose Android made by Ms. Kuki to serve Master Kazuto in anyway."

Miyako huffed confidently. "Hah! Told you!"

"I see," Takami replied calmly.

Miyako looked at her in confusion. "You're… not mad?"

Takami merely scoffed at the remark. "If something like this made me mad, work would've already given me an aneurysm."

Cookie tilted her head curiously. "How so, Mistress Takami?"

"That's classified. I won't say anything about my job on the off chance those psychos put a listening device in you."

"Okay?"

Miyako frowned before adding in, "Y – Yeah! So get it outta here!"

The purple-haired girl flinched slightly. "H – Huh…?"

Kazuto gave a frown of disapproval before stepping in front of Cookie. "Okay, that's enough. I'll decide if Cookie stays."

Takami simply shrugged. "Fair enough. I doubt she'll be more of a nuisance than any of our other tenants."

Cookie nodded in return before looking at Kazuto. "I swear, I will not be. Now, is there anything you need, Master?"

Kazuto sighed heavily before turning to her. "I'm still trying to understand this whole thing…"

"I see…"

"Alright, guess I'll start basics. What are you exactly? I know you said an android but that doesn't really tell me what you can do."

"Oh. Cook, Organize, Obey, Kick ass, Intoxicate, Exploit."

"Oh… wait, intoxicate?"

" _That's_ what you're worried about?!" Yukari shouted, having wandered in during the commotion. " _Nothing_ else?"

Kazuto looked her in thought before shrugging. "… No?"

Yukari's jaw dropped before Cookie interjected, "Shall I start cooking?"

"Um… sure."

Cookie nodded with a small smile before leaving for the kitchen.

As the other girls left, Kazuto flopped onto his bed in exhaustion. "Maybe I finally have time for Yggdrasil…" Kazuto grabbed his helmet and put it on before being launched into the virtual world of Yggdrasil.

* * *

Kirito sighed as he came to on a bed and looked to his side, seeing Ako next to him. Chuckling, he remarked, "Hey there, Ako."

The girl pouted as she looked up at him. "How'd you know?"

"Because, the game only allows one person per bed to log off. Oh. Has Argo logged on yet?"

Ako sat up with a confused expression. "Yeah, why? He's at the tavern with Master and Schew."

Kirito launched out the door, leaving the confused girl behind. "I'll be back!"

* * *

Inside a tavern near the inn Kirito had been in with Ako, three people sat at a table.

The first with a tall man with short violet hair and rather scant outfit of a green scarf and trousers.

The second was a young man with messy, dark blonde hair decked out in silver and gold armor with a huge sword on his back.

The third was a rather petite young man with short, bright blonde hair clad in a cloak.

"School's been rather strange lately," the first man remarked.

"Tell me about it, Apricot," the cloaked boy muttered.

"It's Master, Argo. You'll need to remember that now that you're in the guild," Apricot rebutted with a smirk.

"How about you, Schwein?" Argo asked, ignoring Apricot.

Schwein smirked confidently and retorted, "I got confessed to. Again."

"Oh?" Apricot asked with intrigue.

"Yeah. But of course I refused, after all, I wouldn't have time for gaming if I –"

He was interrupted as the door slammed open, Kirito stomping in angrily. "Argo! I'm gonna kick your ass, you damn rat!"

The blonde burst from his seat in shock. "H – Huh!? What'd I do?!"

"Don't lie! That godforsaken blog of yours!"

Argo remained silent for a moment. "… Seriously?"

"Yes! Everyone at school wanted to kill me because you posted that you jackass!"

Argo merely blinked in total bewilderment. "… Nya?"

"You heard me! I don't know how but my whole school knew about your damn blog and they all had it out for me!"

Apricot raised an eyebrow with intrigue as he grabbed his glass. "Oh? This is interesting. What's the blog about?"

Argo just shrugged. "Our adventures in the game. I'm guessing Kiri's mad I made a post about him marrying Ako."

Apricot immediately spit his drink in shock, splashing it all over Schwein. "Wh – What?"

"What the hell was that for!?" Schwein snarled.

"What…?" the blonde asked in further confusion before Kirito lunged at him angrily. "Unya!" he shrieked before diving out of the way, Kirito slamming into Schwein.

"Gagh! What the hell dude!?" Schwein snarled before throwing him off.

"Stop dodging!" Kirito howled.

"You'll kill me and I'll lose my progress!" Argo retorted.

"Don't care!" he snarled before charging.

* * *

Ako walked into the inn with confusion and saw Argo lying on the floor with a single hit point left, Apricot and Schwein holding Kirito back. "What's going on…?"

"He tried to kill me…" Argo groaned.

"Why?"

"His damn blog!" Kirito snarled as he was held in place.

"Blog…?"

"Yeah!"

"I told him to post it there."

Kirito blinked in disbelief. "… Eh?"

"I want the whole world to know I married the best man in the universe!"

"U – Um… what's going on here…?" a new voice asked as a girl with short blue hair and plain armor walked in with confusion.

Schwein sighed as he released Kirito. "Apparently Kirito and Ako got married and Argo ratted it out to all Sachi."

"O – Oh…" Sachi muttered.

Kirito growled before shouted, "And everyone at Kawakami knows!"

The others all remained silent and looked at him in disbelief.

"… What?"

Schwein looked at him in disbelief. "… _You_ go to Kawakami?"

"Yes. I do. Why?"

Apricot then addressed the other members. "Ako?"

"Yup!" she chirped.

"Sachi?"

"Y – Yes…" she stammered.

"Argo? Schwein?"

The duo frowned before nodding. "… Yes."

"As do I."

Kirito gaped in shock. "… Well… this is odd…"

Apricot nodded in understanding and tapped his staff against the floor. "Right. Now that we are all here… I say we should have the first ever Moonlit Alley Cats IRL meetup."

"Awesome!" Ako cheered.

"… Great…" Kirito and Schwein grumbled.

Apricot added, "I know the perfect place too. The cafe just down the street from the train station."

"What time, then?" Argo asked.

"Hm… around noon, on Saturday?"

The others nodded in agreement, though Schwein and Kirito were less than enthused.

* * *

Kazuto groaned as he sat up and stretched from his time in Yggdrasil, before turning and noticing Cookie sitting silently beside his bed. "Gyah!"

Cookie tilted her head in confusion. "Is something the matter, Master?"

"… Have… Have you been there this whole time…?"

"Yes."

Kazuto shivered in worry.

"Master?"

"… N – Nothing…"

"I see?"

* * *

Suguha and Yukari sat at the table with Kazuto as they worked on their homework.

"Saturday?" Suguha questioned in disappointment.

Kazuto nodded in reply. "Yeah. I'm going to be heading somewhere so don't worry."

Yukari snickered slyly. "Oooohh. A date?"

"No," he answered bluntly. "Me and the guys from Yggdrasil are meeting up."

"Oh? Even Ako?"

"Yes. And there's always a chance Ako's actually a guy."

"Right," she answered doubtfully.

"What?"

"Oh nothing. Just knowing your luck, I bet they're all girls."

"Yeah right."

* * *

Kirito dodged a swing from one Ogre before turning on his heels and decapitating another. "This is what I need to relax."

"Kirito! Look out!" Ako shouted before Kirito got thwacked in the back by one of the Ogres. She paled in fear before raising her short, sphere-topped wand into the air. "Oh no! I'll heal you!"

Kirito paled as the Ogres all turned to her. "Shit! That's too much healing! Ako! Run!"

"Eek!" she shrieked as she sprinted from the muscly, green beasts.

Kirito's jaw dropped. "Fast…" he muttered before shaking his head. "Schew! We need to Aggro them!"

"Got it!" Schwein replied before raising his sword high.

The Ogres stopped chasing Ako and turned to Schwein, who grinned as Kirito charged, his shield glowing before he slammed all of the Ogres to the ground, after which they dispersed into a cloud of sparkles.

Kirito sighed in relief as he stood before paling as he looked forward, seeing he had gained the attention of every Ogre in the room. "… Ah fuck me…" he cursed before sighing and charging through the group, slashing numerous Ogres to pieces, all the while getting hammered by others. "A little help here!?"

"O – Okay…!" Sachi stammered before raising spear and charging in skittishly. "I – I'm coming…!" She charged in swinging blindly, not hitting a single Ogre.

The beasts looked at her blankly before turning their attention to Kirito. "… Fuck my week…"

Apricot cackled proudly. "Fufu, fear not, for I have come with back up!" before pulling out a large staff with a snake's head on the top.

Schwein gaped in disbelief. "You have got to be kidding me… you _actually_ spent money on that crap?"

"But of course! The kind of items you can get in the real-money marketplace would take years of grinding!"

Schwein slammed his face against the wall in disbelief.

"Quit gloating and use the damn thing!" Kirito howled as he was viciously stomped by the monsters.

"Fine," the man huffed before swinging the staff, causing it to glow before shattering and causing a massive explosion at the center of the Ogres, unintentionally engulfing Kirito in the blast as well.

Kirito cursed as he stood up, a single hit point remaining. "You did that on purpose you jackass!"

"No I didn't," he argued weakly.

"Don't worry, I'll heal you!" Ako exclaimed as she rushed towards him, using another healing item.

Kirito sighed, knowing it was unnecessary, but appreciating it anyway. "Thanks, Ak – bwagh!" he grunted as she tackled him with a hefty hug.

"I'm so sorry, Kirito! I didn't mean to get you hurt!" she apologized profusely, practically crying.

"I – It's okay. What's done is done, so don't sweat it."

Ako blinked and then smiled brightly. "Thank you very much, Kirito. I love you."

"Y – Yeah…" he answered sheepishly before he noticed Argo writing on a virtual notepad. "Hey! The hell are you doing!?"

Argo immediately tucked it away. "N – Nothing…"

Kirito snarled and leapt from his spot and chased after the blonde, who fled frantically. "Get back here you damn rat!"

* * *

Kazuto groaned as he flopped into his seat in class. "What a week…"

As he sat silently, Ageha approached him with a faint smile. "Kirigaya, did you like my –?" she began before being interrupted by him.

"Are you insane!?"

"H – Huh? You didn't like Cookie?"

"Whether I liked her or not _seriously_ isn't the issue!"

"It's not?"

"No! I mean… what _is_ she… exactly?"

"Ah. A Cooking, Organiz –"

"Not what her acronym means, what she _is_."

"An android."

"Right… and you gave me one of the world's most advanced machines, because…?"

Ageha stiffened slightly. "W – Well…"

However, before she was forced to answer Saito walked in. "Alright class, take your seats."

Ageha sighed in relief, Kazuto simply frowning in confusion.

* * *

Back inside the game, Kirito hugged the wall as he approached a corner and looked in, seeing a large group of Ogres standing around a campfire inside a cave. "Oh great… Okay… didn't expect this many, but it should be okay… I should not say that…" He took a breath and then pulled a small spike from his pocket and threw it, hitting one of the beasts and getting the entire group's attention. He immediately turned and sprinted away with the Ogres in pursuit, suddenly stopping on his heels and turning. "Yo! We got incoming!"

Nearby, Argo, Apricot, Sachi, and Schwein gathered around Ako as she showed them a ring on her left hand.

"Right, tell me more," Argo urged as he held out his notepad.

Ako nodded with a gleeful smile. "Well I asked him on this romantic pier sitting on a huge lake! It was difficult but he eventually said yes and gave me this ring!"

"Ooh."

"Impressive," Apricot remarked.

Kirito gaped in disbelief. "Hey! I'm surrounded by enemies!" He snarled as he dodged one of the Ogres and swung at another, barely swerving around each of their strikes.

"What else, Ako?" Argo asked.

Kirito growled as he decapitated one of the Ogres, only for another to whack him on the back. "Hey! I need help here!" He turned and saw the group still talking listlessly. "HEY!" he shouted before one of the Ogres sent him flying. "Quit chatting!"

* * *

Kirito glared at the others as he downed a huge healing potion.

Apricot raised an eyebrow in confusion. "What? You managed to beat them"

Kirito just twitched an eyebrow angrily. "… Let's just head back to the tavern…"

* * *

Ako frowned in confusion as Kirito collapsed on the table. "Kirito? Are you okay?"

"No, Ako… I'm not okay…" he grumbled. "This whole week's been not okay… And I hate to say it… but it's mostly because of you, Ako… You sometimes miss your targets and heal the enemies, you get caught up talking and wind up getting lost, and do you know how many times I've died because of your mistakes? And that's just the effects within Yggdrasil…"

"H – Huh…?"

"Argo's blog post has everyone I know at home and at school going insane… Especially Momoyo…" He winced when he noticed Ako's eyes watering and then sighed. "Well at the very least I haven't been actually hurt, and… I guess my experience is still on the positive side…"

Ako's expression instantly changed to a smile as she hugged his arm tightly, rubbing her head against him like a cat. "Aw, you're so nice, Kirito!"

"Isn't tanking the armored knight's job?" Schwein rebutted.

Kirito twitched an eyebrow heavily. "There's no job system in this game dumbass. Plus, the only reason _I'm_ the damn knight is because you're so obsessed with using that big ass sword your character isn't even strong enough to use properly!"

Schwein twitched an eyebrow before smirking angrily. "What? You think you can take my bad self?"

Sachi trembled in worry as she looked between the duo. "H – Hey… don't fight, you two…"

Apricot interrupted with a proud chuckle. "You can just leave the annihilating to me. Because I'm unstoppable…" he trailed off as he opened a large pack, "as long as I have these powerful, real-money items!"

"Lousy pay-to-win bastard," Kirito and Schwein both cursed.

"Indeed…" Argo added with a frown.

Ako smiled before opening a menu in front of her.

Kirito blinked as an icon appeared in front of him. ' _Private chat?_ '

Ako nodded with a smile. ' _Hey, let's talk just the two of us, this is no time to be talking to the others. You should focus on your wife. Haa… your wife… your wife…_ '

Kirito frowned as Ako continued mumbling mindlessly. "… A – Ako…? Ako?" he urged as he shook her, getting no response. "Geez… she always does things her own way, I guess."

Apricot chuckled in amusement. "Seems you two are really stuck together like glue today."

"Yeah…"

Schwein snickered wryly. "Yeah, just like a couple of normies."

Kirito huffed dismissively. "Yeah right. This is just in the game. The game and reality are completely separate."

"We'll see when we all meet tomorrow," Apricot interjected.

Argo snickered before redirecting, "Say, Ako, anymore juicy info on your time with Kirito?"

Kirito twitched an eyebrow at his persistence. "Oy, zip it or I'm hanging you by your money bag!"

Ako, undeterred, jumped from her seat. "Listen to this! Kirito rejected my love-filled confessions again and again! The stress was shortening my life at mach speed!"

Kirito flinched away from her in response. "W – Well, it all worked out in the end, didn't it?"

Ako pouted deeply. "It's not the destination, it's the journey!" She began flailing her arms in a childish way as she continued. "I proposed to you ten times, and you rejected me each time! Is that how badly you didn't want to marry me!?"

Kirito flinched more before sighing. "Okay, okay, I get it. Come on, let's just reset from our first conversation and move on."

Ako paled and grabbed his leg desperately. "Please! Don't! I was only kidding! Anything but divorce, I'm begging you! Don't abandon me!"

"So why'd you refuse at first anyway?" Schwein asked.

Kirito tensed before looking to the side with embarrassment. "I – It's… complicated. In-game marriages are something that… kinda turned me off."

"Wh – Why…?" Sachi asked in concern.

"It's… complicated."

"Hah, it's not like you could get married in real life anyway. Wait, what?"

Ako inched up to the side of the table and added, "I heard about that. Kirito actually propositioned for marriage in the game once. Nekohime… a cross-player."

Kirito's face turned blue in horror. "A – Ako!"

Sachi tilted her head in confusion. "A cross-player?"

Apricot, Schwein, and Argo drowned out her confusion with cackling laughter.

Kirito flinched at their laughter. "Sh – Shut up! You guys are enjoying this way too much!"

"Th – That story's beyond dark!" Schwein taunted through heaving breaths.

Apricot, barely able to hold himself up, added, "That's definitely a memory for adolescence!"

Kirito growled with shame. "Y – You can't really blame me… Her… I mean, his, character was cute, nice to everyone, had good taste in equipment, played the game well, and was all-around the ideal girl… I mean, girl character. I just made the most epic fuck up of wanting to meet them IRL… Tch… anyway, the shock was devastating, so I stuck to solo play for the whole time after that until I came to a realization."

"Oh?" Argo asked with intrigue.

"Who cares? As long as their avatar, the version of them I interact with, is cute, it doesn't matter who or what they are in real life. It was the cuteness in the game I liked, so what they looked like in reality didn't matter."

"Well that'll go up in smoke soon."

Kirito groaned heavily. "I know, which is why I want to appreciate Ako for Ako until I meet him in real life. Then it's going to be a pain in the ass to try and remind myself that Ako in the game and 'Ako' in real life are two separate people as far as I'm concerned."

Sachi interjected, "H – Hey, nobody explained what a Cross-Player is yet…"

"Oh. A cross-player is someone who plays a gender opposite what they really are. Meaning that even though Nekohime played as a girl, the one actually controlling her was a guy."

"Oh… W – Well, if it helps, I actually _am_ a girl."

Ako nodded in agreement. "Yeah, me too."

"Sure, if you say you are then you are. At least in the game."

Ako waved a hand dismissively. "No, no, I mean in reality I'm a nerdy, book-girl type."

"Same…" Sachi added.

Schwein frowned in disappointment. "Yo, hold it, you shouldn't just admit something like that, Ako."

Kirito nodded as well. "It's the greatest net taboo of all."

"I had no idea…" Ako mumbled.

"Geez…" Argo groaned.

Apricot chuckled proudly. "Taboos are ludicrous. I, for example, am a high school girl in real life."

Kirito flattened his brow incredulously. " _You_ , Master? With that premium gear? No way."

"Not a chance," Schwein added.

Ako laughed weakly. "Yeah, it's impossible."

Argo nodded with a smirk. "Yeah. Next thing you know your gonna say your family runs a multi-billion-dollar company."

Apricot blinked in surprise. "Yes, actually. But I make all of my own money to pay for items in the game."

Argo gaped in disbelief as Kirito sighed heavily. "… This meetup is going to be weird…"

* * *

The next day, Kazuto stood at the town's train station and looked around in confusion. "I guess… the others aren't here yet? Weird…" After a moment, he pulled out his phone and sent a message to the group text he had. "I'm… by… the… big tree… in a… black… tee… There."

A short pause later, he felt a soft tug on his sleeve. "K – Kirito…?"

He tensed harshly before turning and seeing a girl who looked identical to Ako, but real, wearing a tight black sweater that showed her figure was nearly the same as her in-game counterpart. "… A – Ako…?"

The girl nodded slowly with a pensive smile. "Y – Yes… I'm Ako…"

His eyes shot wide in disbelief. "Ako…? The… The real Ako…"

"Yes…"

"… You're really a girl in real life…"

"… K – Kirito…?" she asked timidly.

"Yeah?"

His response caused her to gain a bright, beaming smile after which she grabbed and clung to his arm tightly. "Wow! It's you, it's really you! My husband Kirito!"

Kazuto just laughed lightly before looking around. ' _… Well… at least no one at home is seeing this…_ ' "Alright, come on, stop calling by my username before someone I know sees me."

"Y – You can't be serious…" a familiar voice called in horror.

Kazuto turned slowly and saw Akane, now in less formal apparel. "… Eh?"

She looked at him in horrified shock. "Kirito…? _You're_ Kirito… Kirigaya?"

Kazuto felt a shiver go up his spine as he looked between Ako and Akane. "H – Huh?! H – Hey, Segawa…"

Ako looked between the two curiously. "You two know each other already?"

Akane tensed as her face turned red. "Well, kinda… I mean, I've seen him before…"

"She's in my class," he added unsurely.

"Oh…" Ako remarked.

"Hah!? Tamaki?!" a girl with blonde hair and gold eyes, the one who had sneezed during the assembly, shouted as she ran up to the group.

"Eek!" Ako shrieked before hiding behind Kazuto.

He looked at her in bewilderment. "The hell…?"

"Sh – She's Mozuki Kikawa, same class as me…"

"Oh… cute."

Mozuki's face is the one that turned red this time. "Hah!?"

"H – Hello… I… I'm Sachi…" Sachi, who, much like Ako, looked identical to virtual counterpart, greeted as she approached the others.

Kazuto gaped slightly before tensing and turning to Akane. "… Wait… Segawa, are you…?"

Akane paled for crossing her arms defiantly, attempting to hide her embarrassment. "… Y – Yes… I… I'm Schwein…"

"A – Argo…" the blonde girl added.

"So, it seems we're all here," Kyoh, still in her school uniform unlike the others, greeted as she approached the group. "And yes, I am Apricot, guildmaster of the Moonlit Alley Cats."

Kazuto simply gaped in awe.

"Madame President?" Ako asked curiously.

Kazuto then stumbled forward before falling to his knees, the others looking on in confusion. "I – Impossible… I can't… I can't escape…"

Mozuki knelt down in confusion to his level. "Uh… you okay?"

"No, I am not okay!" he shouted frantically. "No matter where I go I'm surrounded by girls! First at home, then at school, and now I'm the only damn guy in the VR Guild I joined! I mean what the hell?!"

The girls simply stared at him in disbelief.

"K – Kirigaya…?" Sachi began timidly.

"Is that really something to complain about?" Mozuki asked bluntly.

Kazuto looked at her with a deadpan. "Ever heard the names Miyako, Kazuko or Momoyo?"

"Of course."

"I live with them."

That resulted in silence from the blonde.

"My, my," Kyoh commented, intrigued.

"Now let's get out of sight before one of them shows up," Kazuto warned, urging the group to the café.

* * *

As they arrived, the girls looked at Kazuto who was now clad in a ludicrous outfit of a hat, sunglasses, and a trenchcoat.

He looked around before sighing in relief. "Okay, let's get started."

"What the hell are you doing?" Akane asked, not hiding the disturbance on her expression.

"Taking every precaution I know to avoid confrontation and a demolished cafe."

Sachi lurched back in fear. "D – Demolished…?"

"You do know who Momoyo is right Sachi?"

Sachi nodded timidly. "Y – Yes, one of the Big Four. But why would she…?"

"Because she has the capacity to do so when mad."

Kyoh sighed in exasperation. "What on earth is there to get angry about here? Now, come on, take that off. You look ridiculous."

"… I feel safer this way…"

Akane retorted, "If you live with these girls they're going to be able to tell it's you."

Kazuto just looked at her incredulously.

Argo retorted, "She's right, you know."

"Shows what you know."

Kyoh sighed heavily before intervening. "Come on, let's go. I booked us a private room."

* * *

Soon, the group entered said room, a huge room with large windows and a long table all to themselves.

Kazuto, along with the rest besides Kyoh, gaped in disbelief. "… Why is this one so overly expensive…?"

Kyoh looked at him in thought. "What do you mean?"

"… Seriously? Just _look_ at it."

"My parents bring my sisters and me here all the time."

Akane was surprised by that. "You have sisters?"

Kyoh nodded as the group each sat at different seats, Ako pulling hers right next to Kazuto. "Yes. Two younger sisters."

"Wow…" Mozuki muttered in surprise.

The others watched in confusion as Ako pulled herself close to Kazuto, practically drooling. "Kirito… Kirito… it's really you, I can barely believe it!" she exclaimed before she began patting him all over. "You're all warm and everything."

Kazuto frowned as he pushed her away gently. "You're making it sound like I'm some mannequin that came to life. So please stop."

Mozuki just snickered before Kyoh stood up. "Right. Well now that we're all here, let's start with formal introductions. I'll start. I am Kyoh Goshoin, student council president of Kawakami Academy. I came by after school, so forgive me for not dressing for the occasion."

The group clapped softly before Sachi stood timidly. "I – I'll go next… I – I'm Sachi Mokuni, in class B. I hope we c – can be good friends."

After she bowed and sat down, Akane realized it was her turn and flinched before standing. "I – I'm Akane Segawa… and… and here I am…"

It being Kazuto's turn, he sighed and stood as well. "Kazuto Kirigaya. Momoyo's sparing dummy, Kazuko's training weight, and Miyako's constant target. I play as Kirito. … That's embarrassing…"

Akane retorted, "Don't worry Kirigaya, your entire existence is an embarrassment."

"And yours isn't, piggy?"

Akane scowled. "What the hell's that supposed to mean?!"

Kyoh blinked in surprise. "You don't know? Schwein is German for pig."

"Hah?! Th – That's a lie!"

"No, I assure you it's not. I speak German after all."

Akane's entire body went limp before her face turned vibrantly red. "… We've been in the guild for weeks, why didn't you tell me!?"

Kyoh tilted her head in confusion. "I thought that was part of the joke."

"Ggrr… fine! Yes, I'm Schwein! And the next person who calls me a pig gets stuck like one!"

Mozuki sniggered lightly. "You're a lot cuter when you're not a bitch."

Akane's eyebrow twitched more before she decided to just sit down, Ako going next. "I'm Ako Tamaki. I'm sorry I'm always a burden to you in Yggdarsil. Oh, and since my full name is Ako Tamaki, you just keep calling me Ako."

Akane looked at the girl in surprise. "They're… the same?"

"Is that weird?" the raven-haired girl asked in confusion.

Kazuto just shrugged. "It's more of a safety issue."

"H – Huh?" Sachi, now worried, stammered.

Kazuto sighed before waving a hand. "Nothing. Forget it."

Ako nodded in return. "Right. Well, I'm not in any clubs, and I don't have any friends at school either."

The others just stared uncomfortably before Kazuto smacked her on the head gently.

"Owie! Why you do that…?"

"You have the five of us as friends, dummy," he retorted bluntly.

"That you do," Kyoh added with a smile.

Mozuki nodded with a grin. "Yup!"

Sachi nodded in agreement.

Ako smiled happily, though somewhat uncomfortably. "Th – Thanks…"

After a short pause to order drinks, Kazuto turned his attention to Akane. "Hey, Segawa?"

"What?" she snapped.

"You said someone confessed to you, right?"

"Yeah, so what?"

"Who?"

She twitched an eyebrow at his question. "What? It doesn't matter. I turned him down."

Kazuto frowned in disappointment before Ako began mumbling somewhat madly, "Schew's a Normie…"

"H – Huh?"

Kyoh smirked and snapped her fingers, the same mad look. "Yes, a verified Normie. Maybe you should pick us up in your minivan."

The petite girl growled in retaliation. "Why don't you drive us around in your limo?"

Kazuto flinched as tension filled the room. "H – Hey now, let's get along… We're all friends here…"

"Okay!" Ako chirped, instantly back to normal.

Akane sighed as she took a sip of her drink. "She really does whatever he says, huh?"

"Yep," Mozuki retorted as she snacked on a slice of cake.

Sachi frowned in thought as she looked around the room.

"Somethin' wrong, Sachi?"

Nodding, the girl answering, "How come we never met if we're all in the same school…?"

The others slumped in bewilderment before Kazuto chimed in, "Probably because we're all introverted nerds who are more focused on our games than anything else."

"H – Hey!" Akane snapped. "I am _not_ an introvert! I'll have you know I'm friends with Nanako."

"And you have how many others? Plus, you turned down a guy's confession simply because it would take away from your gaming time. Though for all I know it could've been a girl's."

Her face turned an even deeper red. "It was _not_ a girl you pervert!"

"Oh? Why so defensive over a joke?"

Mozuki sniggered as well. "Hohoh, maybe she really turned him down because she wings the other way."

Ako tilted her head curiously. "Hey, Master's the Student Council president, right?"

Sachi blinked in realization. "Oh, if I remember right, isn't the student council president's father on the board of directors?"

Kazuto frowned in confusion. "Really? I thought Momoyo's grandfather ruled the school."

Kyoh nodded in response. "Oh, his decisions are final, but the board of directors is there to provide counsel on things. It was more just a show to the public that he isn't a dictator of the school, but any decisions the directors make will only be enforced if he agrees with them. They don't have any real power."

"Ah."

"My father's real job is the CEO of RECT Inc."

Kazuto gaped in shock. "… What?"

"What?"

"Your father owns RECT Inc…"

"Yes. That's what I said."

Kazuto just stared in stunned silence.

Mozuki waved a hand in front of him. "Yoohoo, Kazu, you alive in there?"

"Yes. Just now I know how she can buy all that OP stuff she has."

Kyoh huffed with insult. "I assure you, all of the money I spend in the game is money I earned myself."

"I see…"

Ako's eyes went crazy again as she started laughing softly. "Wow. People born with a silver spoon should just die."

Mozuki looked at the girl with a frown. ' _This coming from you…?_ '

"Ako, enough threatening your friends," Kazuto urged, causing the girl to flinch before bowing.

"I'm sorry…"

"It's okay. Just try not to scare them."

Kyoh sighed slightly before adding, "That aside, living there isn't actually all fun and games. They control every aspect of my life. Where I go, what I do, even who I can be friends with. Finally, I convinced my parents to let me try out some video games by saying it would help me understand the kind of technology they work with. Of course, that was just a lie, but it worked. And now I have fun in my life."

"What about your sisters?" Akane questioned.

"One of them is one of this school's strongest fighters and the other is intended by my stepmother to inherit the company." With a heavy sigh, she remarked, "I hope my little sister can get some happiness, but knowing that control freak bitch that won't happen."

"W – Wow… you really don't like your stepmother, do you?" Kazuto questioned.

Kyoh hissed in disgust. "No. She effectively convinced my father to overlook me in favor of the child they had together, which is fine by me. But she also wants to control everything her daughter does to make sure she's the perfect person. She even has her going to an all-girl schools so that she can't pick a boy on her own. I wouldn't even be surprised if she picked some rich snob for her to marry."

"She sounds pleasant," Kazuto retorted sarcastically.

"Tell me about it. The only reason I think she accepted me getting into games is because it gets me out of the way of my sister."

Mozuki added, "I be you're jealous of your sister, huh?"

Kyoh shook her head somberly. "Not at all. I pity her."

* * *

 **And finito! The first chapter has ended. Be sure to let me know what you thought of it with a review, whether you enjoyed it, were confused, unsure, or had questions on anything. If you were, leave a review with your queries and I will do what I can to answer your questions, though anything spoiler related will be left vague, so you may want to go for a PM on those ones. If you did not enjoy the story, post a review with your complaints if you must, but alternatives rather than just complaining is preferable. Or, even better, go and do something you actually enjoy, instead! But, with all that out of the way, until next time, bye-bye!**


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